


you were never supposed to leave

by eroticgropefest (goldfishsunglasses)



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:50:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8829352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfishsunglasses/pseuds/eroticgropefest
Summary: What if Fiona hadn’t found Baz?





	

**Baz**

I feel myself slipping too far, and I try to hold on to the one thing I’m always sure of–

Blue eyes.

Bronze curls.

The fact that Simon Snow is the most powerful magician alive. That nothing can hurt him, not even me.

That Simon Snow is alive.

**Simon**

I knock on the door to his office.

“Come in.” The Mage says. I enter, and he’s behind his desk. It’s strange to see him there. I’m so used to him pacing, muttering, looking anxious. He doesn’t look anxious now. He looks almost…

He looks happy.

“Glad to see you back in one piece.”

“Thank you,” I say, “so am I.”

He laughs. I don’t get what’s funny. 

“So, did you find Mr. Grimm-Pitch?”

“I did.”

“And?”

“And–and he’s…he’s dead, sir.”

“Really?” He looks intrigued. “What happened?”

“I found him in a Numpty cave. I think he’d been there for awhile. He looked..,I think they starved him…I think that’s how he died.”

“And the Numpties? What did you do about them?”

“I killed them.”

“All of them?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, I just sort of…screamed. And then they died.” It’s true. I hadn’t even meant to. But seeing him there, in the coffin, All pale and cold, even colder in death, was too much. It ripped this terrible yell out of me until they all fell down. Every. Last. One. 

“This is a good thing, Simon. This is a good day. The families, they’re weaker now. More vulnerable to attack.”

“But, sir–”

“We move while they’re still in mourning. We can’t give them time to regroup, to seek revenge. We have to do it now Simon.”

I don’t want to. He keeps talking. Why is he still talking.

“They won’t even have to buy a coffin.” He laughs. Laughs like he said something amusing. Like someone hasn’t died.

“How do you know that?” 

“Hmm?”

“I never mentioned a coffin. How did you know he was in a one?”

It all clicks into place.

“You did this!” I yell. He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even look guilty. 

“Sacrifices must be made during wartime, Simon.”

“Sacrifices? He was a person!”

“No, he was a monster.”

 _“No!”_ Books fly off the shelves, and for the first time since I walked into his office, the Mage looks afraid. 

I can’t look at him. I can’t be near him. Not right now. Not anymore.

So I run. 

I run to my room. 

Our room.

My room.

Before I realize what’s happening, my sword is in my hand, and I’m slashing at his pillow, tearing it to shreds and I’m crying. 

I should be happy.

This is what I wanted.

This is how it was always going to end.

But I’m not.

How can I be happy?

Baz is dead.

Baz isn’t coming back.

Baz is gone.

And I think I was in love with him.

**Baz**

And I was hopelessly in love with him.

**Author's Note:**

> [reblog on tumblr ( ﾉ ^ヮ^ )ﾉﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ](http://eroticgropefest.tumblr.com/post/154161025152/you-were-never-supposed-to-leave)


End file.
